My son is in the NICU. Support/Advice…?
I delivered my son 5 days ago on oct 6th. I was 39 weeks. I was in labor for 23 hours and pushed for 3 1/2 hours and he got stuck. He was born at 7:30 Tuesday morning, and had to be life flighted by noon. He had a really had time breathing. They thought it was pneumonia. But it was Respiratory Distress Syndrome.
Sense hes been there, he has had to be on a C-PAP machine, then oxygen. And a feeding tube in his mouth, then his nose. (All of these are now out by the way.)
Now that he is eating and breathing better, he developed jaundice. His level was at 18 to begin with, then 13, then yesterday 15, and now today 13. They said it has to be closer to 10 before he can come home. So I’m praying tomorrow is the day.
Anyways, i feel as if I havent had bonding time with him like i wanted. I can only hold him when its time to eat because of the jaundice and before that i couldnt hold him at all because of all the machines hooked to him. I’m afraid hes gonna need the nurses in the NICU more then me. Is that terrible? I just feel like this is the only thing he knows and he doesnt know any better. It breaks my heart.
I’ve just been kinda down lately. Does anyone have any advice? Or opinions? Anything would be appreciated.
I know how overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, exhausted and scared you are. My son was also born at 39 weeks, and ended up being in the NICU for his first 19days before he was able to come home.
It takes it’s toll big time on you as a mother on every level, not to mention you’ve just given birth and are emotional as it is.
What I found most hard to deal with at first was the utter confusion - we had no idea our son would be sick and no idea what indeed was wrong with him - healthy pregnancy, did all the right things etc.
All I can say is don’t worry about your boy bonding with you - he knows his Mummy, he knows your scent, heartbeat, your voice. You will bond with him and calm him, these things you don’t need to worry about.
I understand that complete "in over your head" feeling, as you try to keep your mind clear and focused on your little one, while you’re feeling so stressed and overwhelmed. It feels like your life was just flipped on it’s head. But things will get better, and you’ll see his progress everyday. Some days will be better than others, but each step your brave wee boy takes will make him stronger.
If it helps, ask the nurses in the NICU to speak to a social worker or chaplain - I found talking to the social worker really helped me feel validated in the way I was feeling, and also just gave me time to air my thoughts and concerns, while still feeling human.
I pray for your little boy and yourself; make sure you look after yourself, your little boy needs his mummy.
Good luck xx
By the way, my son just turned 1 on the 4th of october, he is the picture of health and no one would have a clue where he’s been and the journey he’s taken.
All the best
stay strong and know that everything happens for a reason. this expierence will only make you wiser and your love stronger. Good luck!
♥♥♥
References :
I’m sorry to hear about your situation… I am a member of a website, that supports bregnant women, or women with babies in all different areas… You can go on if you’ve lost a child, have a sick child, or just want to talk with other moms… It’s called http://www.babycenter.com
I’ve found this site very helpful, maybe you would too. It’s nice to hear from ladies who are in the same sort of situation as you. Give it a try.
References :
dont worry, sounds liek your son will be fine! i know you are down, but just think any day he will be home! just be patient as hard as it may be, let him get well at the hospital for you to bring him home! just keep praying and make sure everything is ready at home!
References :
you’ll have plently of bonding time don’t worry.
i hope tomorrow is the day too!
References :
I had just the opposite problem with my daughter. She was born normal and healthy, but I was the one in ICU for 3 weeks after she was born. I thought she wouldn’t even know me, and that she wouldn’t like me. I had all the same feelings you do. But your child will know you the minute you are able to take him home. He’s heard your voice for 9 months, he knows you and he knows who you are. He’ll bond with you as soon as he’s able.
Jaundice is OK. Most babies will get this. They can fix it, so don’t worry. Also, your motherly hormones are kicking in, you want to be with him, and you can’t. You worry more about this than he does, I promise. I held my daughter maybe 3 times in her first 3 weeks of life. Once I got home from the hospital, she took right to me. She knew me, and your son knows you, too. He just has to get better first, then you can hold him all you want!!
References :
Mother of 2
well the good thing is he’s getting better, and that’s most important. your baby still needs you and has probably missed you immensely while he’s been in the NICU. soon he’ll be able to come home with you and you will be able to spend all the time you could ever want with him. and the nurses aren’t more important than his mommy; he’s known you for the last 9 months, and they’re just strangers to him. it’s sad that you haven’t had much time with him in the last few days, but you’ll get to make up for that as soon as he comes home. good luck! i know it’s rough but be strong for your little guy. he’ll be home soon and everything will be just fine.
References :
I am very sorry!
Babies are fighters. They fight, and fight for their lives. I can say right now, your son will make it! He will not need nurses more than his mummy!
Wishing you the best of luck, and congrats on your son
References :
I know how overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, exhausted and scared you are. My son was also born at 39 weeks, and ended up being in the NICU for his first 19days before he was able to come home.
It takes it’s toll big time on you as a mother on every level, not to mention you’ve just given birth and are emotional as it is.
What I found most hard to deal with at first was the utter confusion - we had no idea our son would be sick and no idea what indeed was wrong with him - healthy pregnancy, did all the right things etc.
All I can say is don’t worry about your boy bonding with you - he knows his Mummy, he knows your scent, heartbeat, your voice. You will bond with him and calm him, these things you don’t need to worry about.
I understand that complete "in over your head" feeling, as you try to keep your mind clear and focused on your little one, while you’re feeling so stressed and overwhelmed. It feels like your life was just flipped on it’s head. But things will get better, and you’ll see his progress everyday. Some days will be better than others, but each step your brave wee boy takes will make him stronger.
If it helps, ask the nurses in the NICU to speak to a social worker or chaplain - I found talking to the social worker really helped me feel validated in the way I was feeling, and also just gave me time to air my thoughts and concerns, while still feeling human.
I pray for your little boy and yourself; make sure you look after yourself, your little boy needs his mummy.
Good luck xx
By the way, my son just turned 1 on the 4th of october, he is the picture of health and no one would have a clue where he’s been and the journey he’s taken.
All the best
References :